My Invasion Of The Body Snatchers moment happened when my five year old decided to regale me with a dance she’d learnt at school.

Instead of the twee ballet piece I was expecting, my daughter (still in pigtails, no less) proceeded to bump and grind something that wouldn’t look out of place in a 50 Cent video. Two minutes after the song ended, I was still staring at her slack-jawed, my mind swirling with questions: ‘Who is this child in front of me?’, ‘Who on earth has she been hanging around?’ and more importantly, ‘How can I unsee this and make it all go away?’